Truck troubles

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The past few weeks have piled up a few small sadnesses. A month of sickness in the house, back and forth between Michael and I, and the senseless smashing of my beloved truck. It was totaled in the middle of the night by a teenage boy who, after wrecking both of our cars, just ran away on foot. We woke up the next morning to find nothing but scatted broken vases and flower buckets at the spot where the truck had been towed in the early hours of St. Patricks Day.
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Trucks are replaceable. Humans are not. I've been through worse, so much worse, and yet I'm still heartbroken. Sadness, anger, guilt, sadness, anger, guilt! We are so very fortunate, if you have to be hit by a drunk driver, it's best not to be inside the car. The other driver's insurance situation is a diaster though, so everything is in painful limbo. But birds are chipping here and spring seems to finally be breaking through. Cars don't matter, breathe, cars don't matter, breathe, cars don't matter. Maybe now is the time to revive my hunter green jaguar e-type dreams?

30 comments:

  1. I read this on your Instagram feed and it is such a blow. It's okay to feel very sad about this, it is part of your livelihood to be able to have a truck, which in essence is what will keep you in god health (you know food, shelter, etc.) your feelings are well warranted, don't allow the guilt to bring you further down. Yes, you are lucky to not have been in the car, but it is still a big mental blow and does effect you so scream, cry, rage, mope, those are all legit feelings. You are so amazing and this may be one story you laugh about years from now;)

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  2. I so agree with Miss B. It's important to allow ourselves to be angry and to grieve at times like this. Yes, in the grand scheme, things don't matter nearly as much as people matter, but things still matter, especially when they're vital to our quality of life. Plus, I agree with the experts that when I allow myself these human feelings at times of loss, it helps me work through to a truer appreciation of what is most important. Healing wishes to you - and hopes for a new truck soon.

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  3. I'm so, so bummed to read about this. Agree with Miss B, too. It IS a big deal, and no need to feel otherwise.

    If I had a car, I'd let you borrow it but ... maybe I can help by buying you a beer or a coffee sometime soon. Hang in there.

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  4. I'm so sorry to hear this. I've actually had 3 cars totaled by drunk/pilled-out drivers...2 cars were parked with no one inside, and we were inside the third car when it happened (luckily no injuries). The first time it happened, the driver had no insurance, but in the end, my insurance covered it, less the deductible. Two of the times we were actually compensated more than we had paid for the cars, and the third car we broke even. I know they're only cars, but cars can be really personal, especially as you use it for your business. The most frustrating thing to me was the letter I got about 6 months after the first accident, explaining the punishment that seemed like a slap on the wrist, and that one day, if the person ever pays back the insurance company, I may get my deductible back- highly unlikely! Anyway, I hope you find a new mode of transportation that is full of good magic; you deserve it.

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  5. Awww, that's a major setback indeed. I hope you'll feel better again soon and find a way to let out that frustration and then can let it go. I hope the new car/truck will be great and a new wonderful friend for you (is it weird to think of your car like some sort of friend? I do. Can't help it. Sorry)

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  6. Oh, so sorry!

    I get very attached to my cars, and can imagine your sadness. I've named them both, even. Vladimir and Crusher.

    What was your truck's name? I hope you get some form of adequate retribution from the insurance company. How frustrating.

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  7. oh man, bum deal. Thank heavens you weren't in the truck, but still. Here's to a bright new season, and a turnaround!

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  8. What sad news! I understand your feeling of loss. Hopefully things will turn around!

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  9. awwww. it is a truck, but you get attached to all of the transporting it does for you.

    this happened to my old ford but at 8am in the morning. a drunk girl reaching for her cellphone completely totaled my truck and her grandmother's brandnew convertible.

    i had hauled probably a hundred tons of dirt, rock and mulch in that old girl.

    hope it works out with the insurance. nail him to the wall.

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  10. Keep on breathing! You guys will make it through this. So sorry about the poor car.

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  11. Unbelievable...yes, lucky you weren't in the vehicle. Feel however you have to feel...no guilt...then take a deep breath and let it all fall into place. A new place, a good place...even a better place.

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  12. really sorry about this amy!!! wish I could transport you to my new place in florida for a vacation at the beach.

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  13. OH i just read about your terrible cars bad adventure.. Feeling so sorry for you, i'm sending super strong good vibes to you! Your work is amazing, flowers are beautiful, and as many said before me, please do NOT feel guilty for feeling this sadness and anger so strong! It's good to be able to FEEL, even though it has to be sadness and anger sometimes. Say it! Feel it! Cry, shout it loud and it will vanish away with the wind. Make place for serenity and peace........ Kisses all the way from Paris!

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  14. Easter love to you and yours... This too shall pass. ♥♥♥

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  15. Really sorry about your truck. And who says you can't get upset when someone trashes your vehicle? Whoever says that isn't from New York, that's for sure. I'd be hopping mad. And unapologetic about being mad. What do you have to feel guilty about? Nonsense - get good and angry, jump up and down and scream a little if it makes you feel better, and then see about options for something else to drive your flowers around in. You have to feel all your feelings, even the ones that aren't nice. Shutting down your own emotions and making rules about them is a good way to end up screwy in the head. If you didn't break down and have a good cry now and again, laughing wouldn't feel half as good.

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  16. oh amy, how terrifying. glad you are okay.

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  17. I also have dreams of Jaguar E, "English green" vert anglais, we say here in France ! Yes, it's just a car. You are right. Each time I visit my uncle (he is 65 now) I think how he was before beeing hit by a drunken guy when he was a beautiful full of hopes 18 years old kid.
    I have the feeling someone we'll soon come into your way with another truck, an Amy Merrick style of truck (please define it !).
    I was into the woods last week and smelling violets everywhere, seeing the carpets of wild anemones made me relish in springtime. Isn't it great ?
    Wish you the best and keep us posted with news of your new truck !

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  18. Oh, that is just so sad. I feel ya though. One year I got a flat tire in the middle of no-where on Thanksgiving day. Obviously there were no tow trucks or tire shops open, so I asked a police officer if I could leave it there until tomorrow morning. 8am comes and my dad and I take a tire to the car. It was completely demolished. Someone in a truck, most likely drunk, smashed into the back of the car and drove off. People suck sometimes. RIP to your truck.

    Jillian - http://epic-thread.blogspot.com

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